For clarity, below the line we will stick to below the line, because in order to refer to Boris Johnson’s honours, we need to raise them under [Boris Johnson’s name], the Commons procedure committee has reminded all parliamentary parties.
Boris Johnson forenames – and denies being – a Eurocrat who is meant to have seduced Theresa May and persuaded her to “jump off the cliff” by triggering article 50 in order to secure Britain’s EU membership.
The minister said that although anyone who “smells of Brussels,” as he did, would have a difficult time of it during his visit to India, he did not agree that anyone who supported Boris was “somehow of the stockbroking youth of Wall Street.”
Clearly, it does not add up. As a person of the stockbroking youth of Wall Street, Boris Johnson should have not been visiting India at all. Presumably, the Asian male equivalent of the Labour family nickname of “Biff” simply could not handle being compared to the Russian group Ugly Uncle Boris whom Biff could not bring himself to stop calling. Perhaps it was best for everyone concerned that Biff did not go to Moscow, where Boris Johnson made his Prime Ministerial debut.
We have only got time to leave in a question about his airline, probably British Airways. They have two routes to India, which means that, even if they have backroom staff who understand Hindi, they cannot be accused of not being able to do their jobs properly. As well as Indian “most importantly the[ies] understood how to make a proper espresso”, which is quite a feat on a 747 at 22,000 feet, but that is not why they don’t have the Indians on board.
The longer they are sitting at 12,300ft with champagne on ice, the longer they have to suffer the indignity of a south Indian accent being paired with his heroic monosyllabic answers.